If you have been following Smiling and Waving over on Instagram you will already know by now the joy I have raising a teenager. Alastair has always been ace but every year just seems to get better with him.
So I thought I would share my ‘How to Raise a Teenager List’
Designed to be just a little bit of fun and hopefully an insight to our very niche way of tackling adolescence.
1. Follow a Routine
Like many children with a disability, Alastair responds well to a routine. Having no concept of spoken language a set pattern is often the only way he understands what is going on both in and out of the home. Although we have tried to stick to a timetable of sorts throughout Alastair’s childhood it is something we have really cemented in the teenager years. Before if I wanted to switch up the day I’d swing him up onto my hip and carry him to the alternative activity. At almost 8st and 5ft7″ I’m sure you can appreciate this is no longer possible. I now rely on Alastair to help me in many aspects of his life. Our routine allows us to communicate without words and for Alastair to understand what I require of him. We work together as a slick team.
2. Break the Routine:
I am often asked how Alastair copes when we travel. A different time zone, place, temperature etc. While it is obviously not easy for him to adjust I believe it is made easier that we have constantly broken his routine and he is quick to develop new ways of coping. This doesn’t mean jetting off to a new country every few weeks, to us it means putting PJ’s on early and eating rubbish food in front of the TV (Alastair always eats at the table), staying up late and dancing the night away, taking a new route home. All these things now excite Alastair rather than scare him. Rules are made to be broken right?!
3. Get to Know Them:
This may sound so obvious but Alastair has changed so much as a teenager and continues to every year. Thursday nights are Alastair Nights. He gets full control of what we do. We listen to him, observe him, encourage his chosen activities to allow him to thrive as an individual. He ‘tells’ us so much during this focussed time. Thursday nights are my favourite, even if he does keep taking us to sodding Nandos! (and yes, he has a preferred young waitress, he goes coy)
4. Give Them Space
We are very aware that Alastair DOES NOT want to spend all his time around Mum and Dad. Alastair has a least an hour a day in his own company. This is usually listening to vinyl in the lounge, Netflix in his room or chilling out having a long shower.
We are also very lucky to have funding for his awesome PA’s who take him adventuring every week or two. We mix up their time meaning he gets to spend time with his peers at various disability sessions or attending other events across the city where he meets people of all ages and abilities.
Alastair also spends time with his best mate Harry (pictured), everyone needs a Harry in their life!
5. Push Them
We noticed Alastair started to slow down as he approached adolescence. While he lost some of his cheeky endless energy, what he gained in its place was concentration and focus. After recognising this and with small encouragement things we had written off him ever doing he can now do. His body has allowed him more time on each task and he has become more driven.
6. Let Them Make Mistakes
I think ALL teenagers should be encouraged to make mistakes, by gosh you make enough as an adult! Our main aspiration for Alastair is for him to gain as much independence as possible, which comes with trial and error. Just try to stifle your laugh cos they notice and they hate you for it.
7. Ignore the Mood Swings
They are inevitable and pointless. What Alastair enjoys one day he hates the next. Frustrating as it may be hormones can wipe out an entire day, drink wine instead.
Smiling and Waving 